Establishing Connections

Talking to People is still incredibly important.

Photo by Katerina Holmes on

Bob Goff, a lawyer and author, was interviewed by Lewis Howes for the School of Greatness podcast. I have found myself going back to this podcast multiple times for inspiration (Find the podcast here).

One thing from the podcast that I found especially interesting was his “12 conversations a day” principle. He talks about the importance of connecting with people and truly getting to know them. To make this happen, he tries to have 12 conversations every day.

I find this to be a fascinating idea. For one thing, how often do we make measurable goals for our social lives? Personally, I may make it a goal to go to an event where I think I could meet interesting people, but once I get there I have no plan. By establishing a conversation goal, I have a definitive guide and make an effort to establish the connection instead of waiting for someone else to approach us.

A conversation goal also has value far beyond creating new friends. It makes us more likely to check in with our current friends and family as well. Sometimes, when we try to make new friends, we forget about the friends we currently have in our life. It could be a friend you have not seen in a while or a coworker that you get along with and would like to spend more time with. Making our current relationships more of a priority can go a long way in improving happiness and mental health.

Don’t Focus Too Much On The Number

Trying to strike up 12 conversations a day is a lot. It’s important to not get hung up on the number. Even just 2 to 3 purposeful conversations can dramatically improve a social life. Initiating a conversation shows that you find the relationship important enough to keep alive and people appreciate that.

The people around us often end up being even more critical to our well-being than great success. Remember to make time for them and you’ll both be a little happier.

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